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- From: Charlie_Gibbs@mindlink.bc.ca (Charlie Gibbs)
- Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
- Date: 29 Apr 91 02:35:49 GMT
-
- Subj: Fun with UNIX
-
- |
- | Some humorous things to do to a UNIX system:
- |
- | >From the csh (c shell):
- |
- | % make love
- | Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
- |
- | % got a light?
- | No match.
- |
- | % sleep with me
- | bad character
- |
- | % man: Why did you get a divorce?
- | man:: Too many arguments.
- |
- | % rm God
- | rm: God nonexistent
- |
- | % make 'heads or tails of all this'
- | Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.
- |
- | % make sense
- | Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.
- |
- | % make mistake
- | Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.
- |
- | % make bottle.open
- | Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.
- |
- | % \(-
- | (-: Command not found.
- |
- | % rm -i God
- | rm: remove God? y
- | % ls God
- | God not found
- | % make light
- | Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.
- |
- | % date me
- | You are not superuser: date not set
- | Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988
- |
- | % man rear
- | No manual entry for rear.
- |
- | % If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?
- | Too many )'s.
- |
- | % * How would you describe George Bush
- | *: Ambiguous.
- |
- | % %Vice-President
- | %Vice-President: No such job.
- |
- | % ls Meese-Ethics
- | Meese-Ethics not found
- |
- | % "How would you rate Reagan's senility?
- | Unmatched ".
- |
- | % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
- | Missing ].
- |
- | % ^How did the^sex change operation go?
- | Modifier failed.
- |
- | % cp /dev/null sex;chmod 000 sex
- | % more sex
- | sex: Permission denied
- | % mv sex show
- | % strip show
- | strip: show: Permission denied
- |
- | % who is my match?
- | No match.
- |
- | % set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
- | Democratic_Platform unreadable
- |
- | % awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
- | awk: syntax error near line 1
- | awk: bailing out near line
- |
- | % %blow
- | %blow: No such job.
- |
- | % 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
- | thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.
- |
- | And from the bourne shell (sh):
- |
- | $ drink < bottle;opener
- | bottle: cannot open
- | opener: not found
- |
- | $ test my argument
- | test: too many arguments
- |
- | $ "Amelia Earhart"
- | Amelia Earhart: not found
- |
- | $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
- | no sense in pretending!
- |
- | $ man -kisses dog
- | dog: nothing appropriate
- |
- | $ mkdir "Yellow Pages";fiYellow Pages
- | $ mkdir matter;cat > matter
- | matter: cannot create
- |
- | $ lost
- | lost: not found
- |
- | $ found
- | found: not found
- |
- | $ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i
- | Hoffa: cannot execute
- | rm: Hoffa nonexistent
- |
- | The following are ones that I can't get to work on my BSD 4.3, so I suppose
- | that they are stuff from ATT SysV or some other such:
- |
- | % strip bra
- | bra: Cannot open
- |
- | % sccs what bottle
- | can't open bottle (26)
- |
- | $ cat "door: paws too slippery"
- | can't open door: paws too slippery
- |
- | $ cat food_in_tin_cans
- | cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans
-
- Whenever I sense someone looking over my shoulder I type in one of
- the above. And, of course, I keep a file in my home directory called
- README which contains the following line for snoopers:
-
- cat: README: not found
-